A line in a song made famous by the mid eighty's "syn" pop group, the Talking Head's states, one day you may ask yourself, "How did I get here". When we are falling down it's a common tendency to hang on, to start laying the blame. People, places, circumstances can often times seem like the very real culprit for life's dilemma's. Something other than ourselves is much easier to deal with, and lightens any burden we may be carrying. There may even be a lot of truth to it.
But as we may be demanded to swear in a court of law. We need the truth the WHOLE truth and nothing but the truth, or God help us we are going to do it again. Whatever that may be, drug addiction, alcoholism, divorce. The key is in what is external to ourselves.
An idea not carefully analyzed, in combination with a long held philosophy or belief in the way the world is, or the way I am, will prove to be a deadly combination. This establishes the climate for being sent on a downward whirlwind of shame and remorse, and what will be the inevitable outcome of it. It turns toxic.
With any belief we may have, upon investigation we usually find there are exceptions. For example at a men's group meeting, I remember one man sharing, it was his belief that flirting with other women was a sign of virility, and that's what set the standard for his actions. This one idea lead him into three divorces and children he doesn't even know. Yet this idea in reality is not inherit to him, it can be changed. And even though there a lot of men would agree with him, there will be a lot of men who would say well, how would your wife feel. And that would be the focal thought that would determine their actions. So therefore not an absolute truth then, because the other men live very fulfilling lives staying true to their spouses.
Obviously a change like this cannot take place over night, but if the objective is not to go through the pain and devastation of a broken home. That has to be replaced with another goal. Once again we need another aim, a positive intention we can aspire to . Rather than our virility, or any other purpose that leads back to ourselves. Replace it with an idea that when we see it through to it's logical conclusion, will be for the betterment of all those involved, and over time the burden that we carry begins to lighten.
Remember three gifts that cost nothing to give: forgiveness, love and kindness. We set these goals as larger that ourselves, and that heart is is created in us. We begin to experience a new hope, along with a renewal and a freedom of our minds, that we never before imagined. That spirit begins to become woven into all we do, and nothing else matter's.
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